Shrinking Clothes Fairy. Just Stop!

Dear Shrinking Clothes Fairy

I know today’s economy is bad and I commend you for keeping a job in what is otherwise a tough job market. But I really need you to stop visiting my closet and shrinking my clothes. You just need to cut that crap out.

While I see your role being quite vital to the economy,  by making women (and men) whose clothes no longer fit to go and spend dollars buying new clothes. I can see how it is a win for the economy, retailers, and employees. But for me not so much.

It is a depressing thing going into my wardrobe to pick out my “fat” clothes and find they are to tight. These were the comfort clothes I used to wear only during “that time of month” when I was bloated and swollen and feeling yuck. The world starts to look a bit screwy when your comfort clothes are now no longer comfortable.

I can only conclude it is your fault and I am really very over it. The reason  I think it is your fault is because I am eating healthy, doing plenty of exercise (even exercise that makes me sweat a lot and turns me into a quivering puddle of jelly muscles). Heck I am eating just a salad for lunch. Yes I am one of those ladies who only order a salad at lunch time and people make fun of.

To add further insult to injury I do not seem to be able to shop in the “trendy” section any more. Suddenly the section in the Department stores that has clothes with elastic waists is sadly what I can now fit my ass into. I am still in denial about this despite the growing collection of half elastane waisted clothes I have.

So I am sore, feeling fat, discovering that elastic is ok, and sugar deprived. Which I am sure you could understand is not making me the happiest little camper in the world. As a result if I see you near my wardrobe in the near future all I can say is I cant be responsible for my actions. Let’s just say google has some interesting websites on how to stop fairies.

So if you could kindly stop shrinking my clothes it would be greatly appreciated.

Kind Regards



2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. stacybuckeye
    Sep 03, 2012 @ 13:04:25

    LOL!!! I am so feeling your pain! It is a sad state of affairs over here. Especially every morning when I have to find something I can squish myself into. Unfortunately, I am NOT having salads for lunch 😦


    • caspette
      Nov 19, 2012 @ 10:58:09

      I had to cave and buy more clothes. The weight doesn’t shift as easily as it used too. Plus not quite doing salads any more I love my carbs way to much.


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