What My Toddler Has Taught Me

  • Silence outside of bed time is not golden and should be mistrusted.
  • Toddler cuddles and kisses are best.
  • If it is disgusting/unhygienic/gross you can bet your ass your toddler is all over it/in it/eating it.
  • I have a much higher tolerance to screaming children then I used to.
  • Impromptu gifts are a lucky draw, they can either be really sweet (like a flower) or really gross (like a dead cockroach).
  • Just about every parenting ideal/belief you had before you became a parent pretty much goes out the window as you lower your standards.
  • Food on your toddlers plate is poison and food eaten by some one else is fine.
  • Be careful what you say as you don’t really have a toddler, you have a parrot.
  • Just when you stock pile your child’s favourite food, your child will never eat it again.
  • Saying no is like flicking on the demon switch in your child.
  • Watching a movie/tv series over and over is totally acceptable if it buys you time to cook dinner.
  • You find new ways to not say the word that will trigger extreme excitement or a tantrum if it doesn’t materialise right now!
  • If you don’t want your child to do it they will, over and over.
  • If it is the worst possible time for you, expect a major melt down.
  • Your tolerance to ick will sky-rocket.
  • You wont even blink when someone says “eww what is that in/on your……”
  • You really learn the meaning of multi-tasking and time management.
  • The cat didn’t really need that chunk of fur.
  • If you even think about eating that chocolate bar, your child will know about it.
  • A smile or laugh from your toddler will bring a smile to your face. Always.

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Literary Feline
    Jun 22, 2012 @ 09:22:52

    You’ve captured it so well! LOL My little one recently discovered that she can lift the toilet seat. Now all she wants to do is put little pieces of toilet paper in the toilet and play in the water. Oye! Then there’s her obsession with dog and cat food . . .


    • Caspette
      Jun 22, 2012 @ 20:57:53

      I didn’t mention the toilet. Do not get me started on things being thrown in the toilet. He even worked out how to get around the child proof lock the bugger.


  2. stacybuckeye
    Jul 07, 2012 @ 13:32:52

    •Just about every parenting ideal/belief you had before you became a parent pretty much goes out the window as you lower your standards. LOL!! So true.
    I am totally with you on all of these. I didn’t realize our little guys were so close in age. Gage is 20 month now.


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