The Seven Eating Habits of a Toddler

I have noticed that most toddlers have seven basic eating habits. I probably haven’t come close to covering all the different styles,but here are some that I have observed.
  • “OMG what is this poison you are trying to feed me?” – This particular behaviour is when you give your toddler food (usually your carefully crafted meal) and your toddler acts like you are trying to poison them. They may, if your really lucky, take a nibble, but mostly reacts violent and hurls it across the room. Usually this ends up with the food being chucked at the floor, cat, the tv, or if your really unlucky your head.
  • “Food Addict” – This behaviour is usually observed when your toddler eats or is about to eat their favourite food. Especially if its junk or sweets. There can be laughter, clapping, dancing, or a simple huge smile. But in general an overall happiness. When you remove this beloved food you have anarchy. Tears and screams. Hello tantrum central.
  • “I can eat it mum, what do you mean spaghetti doesnt go up the nose?” – This is when your toddler insists on eating themselves. Usually without utensils (though even if they DO use them it doesn’t make much difference), and usually when it is the messiest food around. Particularly if it stains (like bologna sauce). This type of eating style results in mess, usually all over your toddler, the seat, the floor, the cat, the table, and you. Food will also be found in random places like in the nappy, behind an ear (not necessarily the toddlers) , or down your shirt. BUT your toddler will be happy and eat a great deal. My tip, if at home strip your toddler down or put them in something you don’t care about getting dirty that way the damage is limited.
  • “Are you sure that is edible?” – This one is more of a look your toddler will give you. You present your food and they look at it in stunned disbelief. It’s almost like they can not believe you would have the audacity to put such a crime against toddler-hood in front of them. This can be followed by the “OMG what is this poison you are trying to feed me?” reaction or “I can eat it mum, what do you mean spaghetti doesn’t go up the nose?”.
  • “My name is Piggy Mr Piggy” – This one for us is random, but for some a way of life. It’s when your toddler seems to develop a black hole of a tummy and just shovels food in.
  • “A-N-I-M-A-L!” – This is when your child is a bit of a feral. They will eat off other people’s plates (while they are still eating), finish off siblings left overs, eat any food spilled on the floor. This is similar to the “my name is Piggy Mr Piggy” behaviour but with the difference off they wont stay put in the chair oh and sometimes they may and growl if you try and take the food off them.
  • “Well it’s green and furry it must be edible” – Probably the most revolting eating behaviour is when your child finds some long-lost, piece of food, that had been hidden only god knows where and proceeds to eat it. If your lucky you catch it before they get it in their mouth. If you are not lucky, be prepared for a heart attack. Some signs to look out for; Looking at something under a piece of furniture intently, going very very quiet.
  • “I don’t want it but you can have it” – I have yet to work out if this behaviour is sweet or gross. The food is usually half eaten and slobbered on when your toddler decides they want to share with you. I try to think this is sweet because otherwise the slobbered mangled food would freak me out (also I pretend to eat it and do a crafty slight-of-hand-mummy move that results in the food going nowhere near my mouth. I am ninja!).

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. stacybuckeye
    Nov 19, 2011 @ 14:08:28

    LOL! Food is a struggle right now for us, so looking at the lighter side was good for a laugh. Gage doesn’t want anything but oatmeal, yogurt and cheerios. Oh, and cookies. Sigh.


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