No. Really. We’ll Stop Here.

I didn’t always want to have a child. I was on the fence about it for many years. Then one day a couple of years ago my husband and I decided it was time. Oh, we gave it more than just a day’s thought, of course. The decision to have a child should not be made lightly.

We didn’t care if it was a girl or a boy. We only hoped that the baby would be healthy. We were blessed with a little girl this past March, and while we wondered early on if we were really prepared for this new bundle of joy, we have never regretted our decision.

My husband and I decided before getting pregnant we only wanted the one child. A lot of thought went into that decision too. I am asked a lot if I plan to have more children. I don’t mind the question. I’ve asked it myself of others. What I do not like is the pressure people have exerted to change my mind. I understand people have their own opinions on the topic and it’s okay to express them–even to me when they disagree with my choice. It’s when they keep pushing and keep trying to convince me I should have another child that it gets to me.

How many children to have is a personal decision that should be made by the parents. Not the relatives or friends or coworkers. Especially not strangers. I won’t tell you to stop having children when you hit five so please don’t tell me I need another child so my child will have a playmate. Isn’t that what friends are for?

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. stacybuckeye
    Jul 08, 2011 @ 12:30:20

    Good for you. As an only child I always thought I would have lots of kids because I always wanted siblings growing up, but as the years passed me by and we had Gage when I was 39, my feelings changed. I feel blessed to have a healthy boy and don’t want to press my luck. I don’t mind when people ask, but I would be totally annoyed if they were pushy about their opinion.
    If we lived closer, Gage and your little one could be playmates 🙂

    Reply

  2. Caspette
    Jul 08, 2011 @ 18:26:54

    I agree totally. The question it’s self is fine its the condenmnation that follows our answer that irks me. They must think now Im an idiot as usually I just smile and ignore them and their question till they move on. I resent being made to feel less of a mother because I only want one child. Ironically my family are good about it but its co-workers and “friends” who seem to jump on the “but you cant just have one” band wagon. Sometimes it feels like they think we are selfish and cruel to our child. But I know deep down it is the right decision for us.

    Reply

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