Cleaning Failure – But it Was Spectacular

Wow I just realised how long ago it was I last posted. Life just got incredibly busy over the last few months and my focus was else where. So to make up for it I hopefully have a funny tale to tell you.

No one would ever accuse me of being a domestic goddess. I know the basics to clean but I really am not very good at it. I just don’t seem to have that gene in me.

My story starts with great intentions. I had a day off at home, alone, so a perfect time to do those chores I tend to put off when little monkey is around (you know mop the floors, or clean the shower anything that involves water and could cause slippage and head banging).

The washing machine had finished its load and I pulled out the mattress protector. I realised to late that the spin cycle had really done nothing for getting water out of my mattress protector and water went everywhere. Ok I can deal water dries pretty quick. All good. Mattress protector went into the dryer and I turned the machine on.

Next thing I know the clothes washing powder box is falling off the dryer and spraying powder all over my nice wet floor.

Awww crackers and cheese.

Now I had a sludgy colourful mess on my floor. Wonderful. This would clearly require more effort. Now if you think things were going bad previously you would be wrong. This is where things went bad.

In my infinite wisdom I thought “well the powder is wet now, I can’t vacuum it, so why don’t I just wash it down the drain. Yea brilliant idea what could possibly go wrong”. So I filled up my bucket with water and stood behind the pile of soggy powder facing the drain and dumped my water aiming for the drain.

Well I don’t think I need to paint a picture of what happened next water, sludgy powder and now soap suds went everywhere. Realising my mistake I slid across the floor and got more water (cos clearly that will make it better) and kept furiously pouring water on the floor and pushing the excess down the drain.Eventually the floor stopped having a bubble effect look, and was not slippery. This though took several trips to the tap, the help of a mop and several towels.

Some how I defied the laws of gravity, physics and slipperiness and didn’t fall on my ass ( I suspect all the Gods of which ever belief are out there were laughing their access off at me) and now my floor is well super effing clean and not slippery. I think I missed my calling as an ice figure skating dancer cos I seriously owned that slippery floor.

So I think the lesson learned is next time either wait for the powder to dry and vacuum it up or just use your hands and scoop the mess up.

Hope you had a laugh and I am currently working on several posts that should be coming up over the next few weeks.


Toddler Craft – Moon Dough

I bring to you today another Pinterest discovery. Moon dough. It is mouldable flour that keeps your kiddies entertained for ages. Best thing is it is dead easy to make and easy to begin with basics from your kitchen! My little guy LOVED this and it encourages sensory play and creativity so winning all round.

This is primarily an outdoor activity as it can get a little messy, but if done correctly can also be an indoor activity as the flour is easy to clean up.

What you will need:

  • 4 cups Flour (I used plain flour)
  • Sunflower Oil (roughly 1 cup)
  • A whisk or a fork to mix
  • A container to put the moon dough in after for storage.
  • A tray to have the moon dough in while playing (i used a plastic basin which was $4 from the hardware store)
  • Items for the child to use (such as cups or small containers etc) while playing.

Ok to make the moon dough all you do is put your 4 cups of flour into a large mixing bowl and then slowly pour in the oil. Now nearly every recipe I found on the net said one cup of baby oil  and I was reluctant in all honesty to use baby oil in the event this was accidentally ingested. So I substituted Sunflower Oil for Baby oil. The sunflower oil was very light and doesn’t seem to stain. So I poured in my cup and mixed it into the flour using my hands. One cup wasn’t quite enough to make the flour mouldable so I just poured in a  few more small amounts till I got the moulding consistency.

That is it! I told you it was easy.

For something a little different/special you can add food colouring to the mixture and make coloured moon dough. I have not tried this yet myself  but sounds kinda cool.

Pour the mixed flour into a tray (preferably outside) and give your toddler some containers to play with and let them have at it. Several websites stated they used kitty litter trays as being perfect for this activity but as we actually have cats who use a kitty litter tray I was reluctant to use one, in case he decided the used cat litter tray would make a good tray to play with.

Also you can use simple cups, spoons and containers from the cupboard or special sand castle building type containers. You really can use anything. You could also (with a big enough tray) create scenes to be played with like a small city and put roads in for cars to drive on. Or make cupcakes with cupcake holders.

Hope your little one has as much fun as mine did.

Shrinking Clothes Fairy. Just Stop!

Dear Shrinking Clothes Fairy

I know today’s economy is bad and I commend you for keeping a job in what is otherwise a tough job market. But I really need you to stop visiting my closet and shrinking my clothes. You just need to cut that crap out.

While I see your role being quite vital to the economy,  by making women (and men) whose clothes no longer fit to go and spend dollars buying new clothes. I can see how it is a win for the economy, retailers, and employees. But for me not so much.

It is a depressing thing going into my wardrobe to pick out my “fat” clothes and find they are to tight. These were the comfort clothes I used to wear only during “that time of month” when I was bloated and swollen and feeling yuck. The world starts to look a bit screwy when your comfort clothes are now no longer comfortable.

I can only conclude it is your fault and I am really very over it. The reason  I think it is your fault is because I am eating healthy, doing plenty of exercise (even exercise that makes me sweat a lot and turns me into a quivering puddle of jelly muscles). Heck I am eating just a salad for lunch. Yes I am one of those ladies who only order a salad at lunch time and people make fun of.

To add further insult to injury I do not seem to be able to shop in the “trendy” section any more. Suddenly the section in the Department stores that has clothes with elastic waists is sadly what I can now fit my ass into. I am still in denial about this despite the growing collection of half elastane waisted clothes I have.

So I am sore, feeling fat, discovering that elastic is ok, and sugar deprived. Which I am sure you could understand is not making me the happiest little camper in the world. As a result if I see you near my wardrobe in the near future all I can say is I cant be responsible for my actions. Let’s just say google has some interesting websites on how to stop fairies.

So if you could kindly stop shrinking my clothes it would be greatly appreciated.

Kind Regards


I Have A Banned Shops List

Note: wow sorry I didn’t realise how long it had been between posts.We have had some gorgeous weather here and have been out fully enjoying it!

The other day I was distracting my little monkey at the shopping centre. Hubby was at the groceries check out, it was busy, and we knew there was no way our little man would stand still for us as he was borderline cranky as it was. So off I went for a walk with my son to find something interesting to look at.

And boy did we find something interesting. A window display full os trinkets, crystal figurines, jewellery, sparkly rocks, figurine frogs and dragon flies. My little man thought they were awesome. I however looked past the display into the shop, and really looked for once at just what was in that shop. It was a gift shop. It had drinking glasses on glass shelves, dangly things from loosely tied sticks (that were roughly with in reach), Stone crafts, pottery, random figurines, and jewellery. For a brief moment I thought I had found a real life little shop of horrors, as I stared wide eyed and in horror. A dare say I did an awesome impersonation of a guppy. It was at about this point that I made the conscious decision that this shop was pretty much a no go zone when I was with toddlers. Either my little guy would break something by accident (just random touching), or on purpose. Both ways would have been expensive. There and then I thought “never ever going into this shop with my son”. Thus was born my banned shops list.

As we left the shopping centre I realised I had unconsciously already developed a banned list. Pretty much top of the list was any gift shop. While I have been in gift shops since the birth of my son I have only done it during work hours. This was followed roughly by most new fashion shops because perviously the pram wouldn’t fit, and now because my ass wouldn’t fit into anything (well actually as I learned recently when I dared to venture in looking for a formal dress my chest is apparently too big for their clothes. I didn’t see that one coming at all. Haven’t decided if I should be happy or not). Naturally lolly (candy) shops are a big no no (which thankfully in my home town is not a big issue) and for me any shop that is busy or has a big queue (the only exception being grocery shopping and then when we get to said queue one of us takes the little monkey away while the other stays behind with the groceries).

So I am curious to hear if there are any shops you refuse to take your little one into?

Toddler Craft – No Mess Finger Painting

So this was another Pinterest find and a pretty easy one to do.

  1. Get a large zip lock bag,
  2. Pour in some safe finger paints (as many colours as you like),
  3. Press out the air then close it up,
  4. Sticky tape it to a table (put a white piece of paper behind if you do this) or in my case a sliding glass door.
  5. Then let your kids have at it.

Photo taken from Play for a Day blog.

Voila painting fun with out the mess! This was a win for use, my little guy had heaps of fun doing this.

You can spice it up or keep it interesting by using a computer stylus (or make a make shift one with q-tips) your child can write or draw in the paint. Also use cookie cutter shapes to do shapes in the pain. I have seen around pinterest people putting glitter in the bags as well or insert a piece of card board into the bag if you want to try an preserve the art work.

Hope you have as much fun as we did with this particular easy peasy craft activity!

The Inequality of Toys

There is nothing more fulfilling then giving a toy to your child. Watching their joy and happiness as they play with the toy is rewarding (and addictive). But not all toys are created equal, and already with 21 month old child I have encountered the three main reactions from a child when receiving a toy.

Reaction 1: Immense Happiness.

I don’t need to explain this one, you know which one I mean. There are shouts of glee, possibly squealing, a smile from ear to ear, laughter, hugs, and everything in between. This is what giving presents is all about. When a present hits the mark, you nailed it, you’re a winner. Everyone is happy.

Reaction 2: Complete Indifference

This is when  you get the blank stare, if your lucky. Maybe you will get a look between the toy and yourself as their eyes say clearly “WTF? What is this rubbish? Do I look like I would play with a limited edition Jedi Knight Light Saber?” Most of the time it’s just a turned back as they ignore your toy completely. Something you think will be a smash will get the cold shoulder as your child picks up an empty plastic bottle and plays with it for the next hour.

Reaction 3: Absolute Hatred

This is possibly the worst reaction. When you get tears, screaming, and  if you are really unlucky a meltdown. Sometimes removing the toy out of sight will be enough. But in extreme circumstances, the toy has to be removed from the house completely. I can pretty much guarantee this will happen with the $100 or more present you bought and not the el cheapo $10 one.

Whatever the reaction you get, make sure you have a video camera handy because it can make for some pretty funny moments.

Do you have any recommendations or tricks for getting the right toy?

What My Toddler Has Taught Me

  • Silence outside of bed time is not golden and should be mistrusted.
  • Toddler cuddles and kisses are best.
  • If it is disgusting/unhygienic/gross you can bet your ass your toddler is all over it/in it/eating it.
  • I have a much higher tolerance to screaming children then I used to.
  • Impromptu gifts are a lucky draw, they can either be really sweet (like a flower) or really gross (like a dead cockroach).
  • Just about every parenting ideal/belief you had before you became a parent pretty much goes out the window as you lower your standards.
  • Food on your toddlers plate is poison and food eaten by some one else is fine.
  • Be careful what you say as you don’t really have a toddler, you have a parrot.
  • Just when you stock pile your child’s favourite food, your child will never eat it again.
  • Saying no is like flicking on the demon switch in your child.
  • Watching a movie/tv series over and over is totally acceptable if it buys you time to cook dinner.
  • You find new ways to not say the word that will trigger extreme excitement or a tantrum if it doesn’t materialise right now!
  • If you don’t want your child to do it they will, over and over.
  • If it is the worst possible time for you, expect a major melt down.
  • Your tolerance to ick will sky-rocket.
  • You wont even blink when someone says “eww what is that in/on your……”
  • You really learn the meaning of multi-tasking and time management.
  • The cat didn’t really need that chunk of fur.
  • If you even think about eating that chocolate bar, your child will know about it.
  • A smile or laugh from your toddler will bring a smile to your face. Always.

Previous Older Entries

%d bloggers like this: